my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
