your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
