Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
