I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
