She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
