Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
