Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you made out with another girl for some wings
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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