no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
