just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
