Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
