Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
