apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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