and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
