Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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