please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
