so explain again why im purple
no
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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