im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
