You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
