i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
