I love black thongs
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
