I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize