Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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