Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
