OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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