So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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