She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
