i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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