$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
