Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
