On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
