the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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