But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
