i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
