Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You ruined the universe
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize