highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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