oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
