why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
