I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize