I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So much rum. So many feels.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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