Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
