just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's shark week go big or go home
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize