FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
