You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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