My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
