I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
