Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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