walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
