awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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