Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
