She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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