You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
