Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
