I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
