I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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