what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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