I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
